It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Still dying that you shit outside
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize