How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
