If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
