I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
