Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
