I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
