**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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