its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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