well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize