4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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