just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
