She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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