so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i believe in u and ur pee
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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