what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
