He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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