He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sext me about skeletons
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
