At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
