Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
