So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
