ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
