if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
