I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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