I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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