i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
