Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
