I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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