I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
