..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
