yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
