Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Randomize
