Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
