I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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