32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
