why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Moan for me like Helen Keller
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Send help, water and tortillas.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
