She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
