I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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