do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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