he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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