based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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