Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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