the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
