so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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