No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize