that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
