There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
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