dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
