I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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