like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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