I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
