did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
