yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
