fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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