some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
