Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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