do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
