he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize