Quick, to the slutcave!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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