I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
