Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
