I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
