For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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