I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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