she kept yelling 'call me bella'
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
