Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
