Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize