do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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