im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
