Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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