just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize