Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
