Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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