please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
