Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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