farters have to be the big spoon...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize