everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
