Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
