wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
