Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize