I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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