I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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