dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
